a teh tarik session with mr. sec14

semalam i met one of my friends in Tagged.... tak pernah2 jumpa tetiba petang semalam masa tengah lepak2 minum kopi kat old town kopitiam with mr. mutual fund i got his message. idea nak jumpa was my idea la since i had no plan for the nite. so at 11pm he came to pick me at my hostel. then we went to mamak stall in sec 14. gosh dah lama gila i tak mencemar duli ke sec 14! kemaman kopitiam where used to be my lepak place pun dah tak ada n dah diganti ngan mama corner (restoran apakah itu i pun tak tau)

so sambil2 puffing my mild seven light cigarette kitorang pun start la d conversation kan. maklumla first time jumpa n he was the 4th person in Tagged that i met. sedikit sebanyak kenala kenal ngan orang yang sudi nak jumpa kita kan. i ni kalo boleh semua orang dalam Tagged tu i nak jumpa tapi tengok orang jugak la. kalo pic kat Tagged pun i dah tau camna gayanya (ala2 diva ke,abang2 ke or adek2) terus i reconsider whether i should meet or not.

terlanjur jumpa mr. sec14 ni terus la i cerita skit pasal diri i. to surprise this fella pun pergi gym jugak tapi tak pernah utilise bebetul apa yang ada kat gym nya. aiyo sometimes kan ada orang pergi sbb wellness je beb ke gym2 ni. i ni tak ada duit nak gi yang kat luar my campus so apa yang ada kat kampus i guna bebetul la. kolam renang je i tak pergi lagi *matilah dah masuk final year pun still tak pernah guna swimming pool.... very der malas one i ni

dah banyak bercerita tu terus la terbuka cerita pasal my issue ngan cameron tu. tak sangka lak yang mr. sec14 pun tengah alami situasi yang sama ngan i. n paling i terkejut i finally i found a different opinion on my issue. kata dia dalam skandal i ngan cameron i yang banyak give walhal cameron tak pernah langsung bagi sebanyak mana yang i bagi. so kenapa i kena bagi banyak sangat. i paling tak suka tapi terpaksa terima yang bila mr. sec14 cakap yang mungkin dalam relationship kitorang ni i ni bukan the only person yang cameron jumpa n has in the collection so i shouldn't take cameron like special person coz cameron wasn't take me in the same way. tapi mr. sec14 told me la yang i ada dalam diri cameron but cameron know the limit.

sekali tengok macam i di-puppetkan je with this fella tapi mr. sec14 kata accept that fella the way yang i patut terima. jgn tanya banyak n don't into details sbb at the end of the day i jugak yang akan merana. better i know cameron in the way i should know which is the present thing n not the past.

bila dengar opinion mr.sec14 i terus tersedar dari mimpi.

betul gak selama ni i yang put a lot of things dlm our relationship n i was really into details.

i always there whenever cameron wanted me but cameron wasn't.

so the best to solve the prob is i need keluar dulu from the ring n enter with some new rules. n most important thing is i need to find many people to date with sbb whether i humping someone else or not i know cameron will do it. so i need to look stronger n being bitchy. it's hard for me to dump cameron since kitorang ada chemistry but i have to know my limit from now on. kitorang juz FuBu so i tak boleh pikir lebih2.

as long dia happy i have to happy myself ngan hidup i. kalo hidup i only oriented on cameron apa la yang i dapat kan? sakit hati n sakit jiwa je. even mr. sec14 bagitau yang cameron takkan pernah sedih kalo lose i so i kena terima yang relationship macam ni it will come n go like wind. sometimes anginnya kuat sometimes sepoi2 bahasa kekdahnya.

entahlah... i wish i could get rid of that fella from my life tapi we've been going out for about 2 years n besides perangai dia yang secrecy tu yang lain i ok ngan dia.

i juz need to know the system. kalo i tahu the system i takkan sakitnya.

manusia n relationship memang pelik tapi kalo jalan ni yang i pilih i need to know how to play the game. that's it.